He’s the one! At least I think he’s the one. Is he the one?” How will you know when you’ve found Mr. Right? “I will just know,” you insist. “I will feel the difference.” Well maybe, but I bet a lot of Mr. Wrongs felt pretty right too. So how can you be sure?

To help you understand what you want most in a relationship, answer the following questions truthfully, or ask a friend to answer them for you. She’ll be able to honestly tell you why that fling with the bassist/poet/potential criminal didn’t work out.

Focus on the high points.
Think back to the best times from any relationship you’ve been in. Why were these great moments for you? What was it about you and the other person that made these memorable experiences? Learn what is important for you in a relationship from these experiences.

Look at an ideal relationship.
Think about friends and family members who are in relationships you admire. What is it you see in these partnerships that you want for yourself? Why do you want this? Why do you think their relationships work?