Prioritize.
Take your dream description from above and select the two to three things that are most important to you. Choose the qualities you feel are critical for you to really be happy and satisfied. Be sure to phrase them in terms of what you want, not what you don’t want. For example, state that you want someone who treats you with kindness and respect, rather than someone who is not rude. This is also the time to remove items like “he must play tennis” from your list.

Clarify.
Now it’s time to imagine that you are in this ideal relationship and picture an average day. How are you feeling? What are you and he doing? This question will provide clues that will help you know when you have found the right one. (Or give you an excuse to daydream about Prince Charming.)

Take action.
Now that you know what you want, do one small thing to begin to make it happen. If you are looking for Mr. Right, stop dating Mr. Wrong. Nip it in the bud. If you already know that he will make five business trips a week for the next twenty years, start planning some extracurricular activities or start practicing the break-up speech. If you discover you are dating Mr. Right, do something that will bring the two of you closer together.

Relationships are tricky because our emotions get in the way of rational thinking. Hopefully this exercise helps you gain clarity about what is most important to you (and not to your mother). If you take the time to answer these questions, you just might discover that Mr. Right is right around the corner.

Jackie Kelm is the author of Appreciative Living. For more information, visit www.appreciativeliving.com.
©Paul-andré Belle-isle