I'm a bit of a collector, which has annoyed most of the women I've dated. Nothing is less romantic than a date busting her head after slipping on a stack of old childhood photographs scattered across the floor. "What? You'd like to cuddle with me in my bed? Hold on, I think it's under that pile of t-shirts that I haven't worn in a decade. Or it’s under that other pile. Maybe we could go to your place?"

But the junk in my living space is nothing compared to the emotional baggage I've collected. Sometimes emotional baggage is a deep-seated issue with vulnerability and trust that never heals itself, other times it’s a bruise on a well-worn heart from a not-yet-forgotten lover. Even if I can convince some woman to ignore the detritus on the floor, what's a gal to do when I offer up my heart and it's stuffed with all the ancient aches and memories I just can't throw out yet? For although some women find beauty in a cluttered heart, most can’t imagine investing into such a dive. It's a lot like apartment hunting. Some places you can tell just need a little fixing up, while others make you think, is someone still living here?

Waiting for a broken-hearted guy to snap out of it can be frustrating and not every woman can tolerate being the sad boy’s nurse. Nor should they. My ex-girlfriend Hannah dated me when I was all strung out over some other girl. How did she deal when I was such an emotional boor? “I cared about you a lot,” Hannah told me, “you were a pain in my ass, but you were worth it, sort of.” Sort of.

But you know what? Everyone has baggage. My friend Marty claims that waxing nostalgic over ex-lovers is "the second most common moral failing, only behind masturbating." Whether men admit it or not, they all do it. While some handle it gracefully, the ones to watch out for are those who haven't found their equilibrium. The ones with relationship vertigo; who keep looking at the ground below when their goal is straight ahead.