As Moir-Smith explains, “It’s a tremendous time of inner turmoil.”

Fear of turning into Mrs. Interdependent.
Vicky, a 37-year-old chemist in Connecticut has been engaged for nearly three years and refuses to marry until a few key issues are worked out, namely her new name. “My fiancé is old-fashioned and he wants me to take his last name. I don’t want to do that: It’s a pain in the ass. I’m known in the industry by my last name. It’s gotten me very far in life and I like it. Why should I take his name? He’s not taking mine.”

Vicky says her autonomy is important. In truth, she says, “I don’t need him. I want him. There’s a difference between needing and wanting. I hate to put it into a business perspective, but he has an added value in my life.”

There’s a realness to what Vickie’s saying that is shared by many women. BethAnn Schacht, a Life Coach and Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Massachusetts, says it’s very common for a woman whose been looking forward to getting engaged to suddenly feel overwhelmed by the idea of creating a new life with someone. “You’ve been the CEO of your life for a long time, you have an education and you’re a success but he’s [also] been CEO of his own life all this time,” says Schacht.