I know this silence can drive women crazy. ‘What is he thinking? What’s wrong? Why doesn’t he say something?’ Please don’t worry. Ninety-nine percent of the time it’s not about you. He’s probably quiet simply because he doesn’t feel like talking. “Men need to go into a cave once in a while,” Mansfield says. “It’s a huge step forward for any couple to recognize that.”

No. 3: Don’t Be Critical.
Say you’re out for dinner, and your guy is inappropriately flirting with the waitress. You’re hurt. You’re threatened. And so later you lash out, calling him “rude” and “inconsiderate” and lots of other choice things. No question, the jerk deserved it. But by hurling criticism at him, he immediately gets defensive. Perhaps he even starts tossing criticisms like hand grenades right back at you. Soon you find yourselves in a full-blown argument. Instead of pointing fingers at him, talk first about how the experience made you feel, Mansfield says. Then ask him to not do it again. If you make your criticism in the form of a request, instead of an accusation, the guy is more likely to listen and comply.

No. 4: Don’t Talk Too Much.
Sorry, ladies, but any guide to communicating with men can’t leave this issue out. When a woman talks too much, she overwhelms a man. In fact, he may be afraid to say anything, for fear that one word from him may trigger another soliloquy from her. “Women can get on a roll sometimes,” James, 24, says. “In such a situation, I use one word, or very brief answers. This will let her know you're interested in what she's saying, but it’s really because you don't necessarily want to add to the ‘conversation.’” Talking too much won’t get him to take out the trash either. If you need your man to do something, make your request and keep it short. Don’t go on and on. “Men will feel like they’re just being lectured,” Mansfield says. “His eyes will gloss over.”