When John, 29, moved in with his girlfriend, he was surprised that he was now obligated to go to her family's functions. Even though he wasn't married, he suddenly found himself with a bunch of new in-laws. When men live with their girlfriends, they get many of the disadvantages of being married, without actually being married. So why would your man agree to do this? That's what you need to find out. Even if moving in with you seems to scream he's making a commitment, unfortunately cohabitating is also a way for a scared-of-commitment man to make it seem like he's committed to you while, in reality, he's avoiding marriage and not legally bound to you at all. After all, men are scared of these sorts of things. As Philadelphia-based counselor George Bernato candidly put it, "Men are wary of making long-term commitments."

The bottom line is that you need to have a talk - a BIG one - before deciding to move in together. Dig deep and find out what's on his mind and what's in his heart. If he's got a bad case of cold feet, then why would you move in with him? Instead of being a wife, you're hurled into this gray area of relationships. You're still single, but not really. You're living together, but not married. You're still the girlfriend, but you want to be more than that.

If he isn't committed to you all the way, don't think you can change him by signing a lease together. As Chuck, 30, who has seen many of his boys move in and out with various girlfriends so eloquently puts it, the whole situation can be boiled down to this: "He's appeasing the woman. The woman wants the whole cake, but he's giving her a slice."
John Crawford is a freelance writer and a friend to women, based in Philadelphia. Photo credit: vgstudio/Fotolia