When Jeremy, 31, got married, the last thing on his mind was the old bachelor days. “I left my old life behind before I got married,” he says. In fact, in the hours before the ceremony, his biggest concern was staying awake. “I was bored out of my mind. All I could do was twiddle my thumbs.”

“My wife and I already had been living together for a few years, so I really wasn't concerned that my world was about to crash down,” says Mike, 28. “I didn't anticipate married life changing things much and it hasn't, fortunately.” But truth be told, Mike wasn’t exactly cool as a jet fighter pilot on his wedding day either. Sure, he wasn’t worried about starting a new chapter in his life, but he was worried about all the things that could possibly go wrong at the ceremony. He thought of walking down the aisle and tripping. He thought of forgetting his vows. “That morning, I started to freak out,” he says. “I was by myself for most of the day, so that didn't really help matters. I wished I had someone to hang out with just to keep my mind occupied.”

As I said, men alone with their thoughts on the wedding day can be a bad thing. If they’re not thinking about that old sweater and the magnitude of what’s about to happen, they’re fretting about the million ways they could mess up the ceremony. The wedding day is like being on a roller coaster—that moment at the very top right before it’s about to go roaring down. You knew this moment was coming and you’re excited about the ride ahead, but that still doesn’t prepare you for the reality of it. Thankfully, all the jitters go away once a man sees his bride coming down the aisle. As Jim says, “I just thought how beautiful she looked.”