Type 2: Life Is Fine the Way It Is
On the other side of the fence is Matt. He's married, 30 years old, and happily without kids. "I like my life as it is," he says. "I like that (my wife and I) can spend an hour figuring out what to eat for dinner instead of having to be sure to feed the kids."   Matt knows that wanting to focus on his own life rather than that of a child's can seem selfish. But he also believes that some choose to have kids for selfish reasons, as a way to give their ho-hum lives or faltering relationships a boost. "Some people seem to think (having a baby) will make them better people or happier, and that seems wrong," he says. On the downside, choosing not to have children can make for awkward social situations. "People automatically think it means you hate kids. I don't hate kids. I just don't think I'm really capable of sacrificing the way good parents have to."

Type 3: It's Like Going to the Dentist
In between the guys who want kids and those who don't are people like John, 31. He's been married for a few years, so he and his wife have been thinking about starting a family a lot lately. After all, that's the typical thing for a married couple to do.   John's wife wants children, no doubt about it, but John's feelings are much more mixed. Sure, having children is what most people do, but that doesn't make the prospect of raising them any less daunting. "I feel they are necessary," he says, "like going to the dentist." Now, I can't say I completely agree with his choice of words - comparing babies to the dentist seems a bit harsh - but to be honest, ladies, I can appreciate his feelings. I'm married and 32, with babies on my mind, though the thought of them scares the crap out of me. But despite fears of failing, of not being ready, and of never sleeping through the night again, "trying" for kids is definitely in my future. I imagine that loving and giving yourself unconditionally to a little tyke is a powerful experience. Besides, what the hell else am I going to do with the rest of my life? Join a bowling league? Having kids is the next great adventure. I feel like I would be missing out on something great if my wife and I didn't give it a shot. John Crawford is a freelance writer, and a friend to all women, living in the Boston area.

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