Relocating for Love...Everything You Need to Know
Don’t drop bombs.
Promise both him and yourself not to throw the, “I left my life behind for you!” bomb into every argument. He is aware of your sacrifice and reminding him will not make him feel sorrier for you, it will make him feel sorry for himself. Marc and I made a deal long before I moved out to California: In order for our relationship to work, it had to be on its own terms, not out of his sense of responsibility.
Be reasonable in your expectations.
Your boyfriend can be your best friend and the love of your life; but he cannot be your girlfriend, parent, job consultant, chauffeur, encyclopedia and psychiatrist. “I didn’t have a car, a job – anything,” says Amy, whose relationship fell apart four months after the move. "It’s an uncomfortable power balance because you’re on their turf, they know everything and you know nothing. And you don’t want to feel clingy, but what other choice do you have?”
Your comments
Displaying comments
1 to 1 out of
1
| -- Block Island |
|
I enjoyed this article and I appreciate the offbeat topics you tackle. This is a real tough one. I would advise that no matter how great you think the guy is, if you can't really see yourself in his city or state without him, then I wouldn't make the move. You have to see yourself getting along there as much as you see yourself there with him. But that's probably not very romantic. The other issue is: how long does your true love planning on living there? If he's not really at "home," maybe it's not worth the bother. Oh dear; that's even less romantic. Well, those are my thoughts, b/c I'm grappling with that same issue.
|