How Your “Perfect” Marriage Can Harm Your Sex Life and What You Can Do so it Doesn’t
Want or not, the “buddy” marriage unfortunately tends to be more about the "talking" and less about the "gotta have you right now" sex. Naturally wanting to have it all, we spoke with sociologist, sexologist and Author of Love Between Equals: How Peer Marriage Really Works, Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., to find out what we can do to make sure we get it.
What Exactly is a Buddy Marriage?
According to a study she conducted of couples in traditional and non-traditional marriages to define and analyze buddy marriages or what she calls “peer” marriages Dr. Pepper Schwartz found four distinct characteristics:
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Displaying comments 1 to 4 out of 4
| Nightingale | |
| The best relationship I ever had was with a man who was a friend before becoming my boyfriend. We had the perfect relationship in every way except our sex life. It was awful. Dr. Pepper isn't saying you have to be submissive to have a good sex life. She's just pointing out that more equal relationships tend to have less exciting sex lives and offering ways to spice it up. I appreciate her tips. | |
| lizwithaz | |
| I find this article very disheartening and inconsistent with the SavvyMiss value of independent working women. If a marriage is between two "peers", or equals, where both of the spouses clean, cook, work, pay bills, have power, etc. it is outrageous to think that they lack the communication or cooperation skills to effectively have an equal marriage and an equally satisfying sex life. | |
| space_cowgirl | |
| how interesting. I find this true though. I was "best friends" with my ex boyfriend and it was great, but the sex life became nonexistent after years of dating. We were so comfortable with each other that we stopped looking attractive for each other; i stopped shaving, he stopped going to the gym. It came to a point where we weren't attracted to each other anymore. how awful. this is such a bad trap to be in. | |
| RaquelRoad | |
| I really feel like the statement about needing to "develop new personas" in bed is so true. My boyfriend and I are best friends, and sometimes when there is a sound during sex, we'll both start laughing (because we have a very similar sense of humor). Laughing always kills the mood, so sometimes we have to role play so we can get into it more, instead of it just being to best friends having sex. | |
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