So while having a role-playing marriage may not be the most gratifying answer to keep the spark alive, role-playing in the bedroom can be. Schwartz says, “Peer marriages can make their sex lives more different than their regular lives by creating a fantasy life that plays with inequality and creates a sexual life that is exciting and not a replication of every day life.” This can mean sexual getaways, putting on costumes and playing out individual fantasies as well as trying new things sexually.

Sara has seen this to work in her buddy marriage: “While it doesn’t necessarily mirror the type of relationship we have, we both take great pleasure in reenacting scenes from Secretary … it’s quite baffling how I don’t mind taking a more submissive role in bed, at times, but it definitely feels good!”