Conflict is part of all relationships—how boring would it be if we agreed all the time? But that doesn’t mean every disagreement needs to turn into yelling, name-calling and three days of the silent treatment. To help us solve the inevitable conflicts reasonably, we asked the experts for tips to keep our cool and come out of an argument with solutions, not tears.

Strategy One: Avoid the screaming match all together.
If you feel an argument coming on, Dr. Patricia Covalt, author of What Smart Couples Know: The Secret to a Happy Relationship, offers several strategies to keep the situation under control:

1. Manage your emotions. “Stay self-aware and in touch with what you’re feeling. Watch how you’re handling your anger,” she says.