When a Savvy Miss member had the following question, we turned to Gloria Brame for her expert opinion.

I almost always orgasm when having sex, but lately I’ve had to incorporate a fantasy to get there. I imagine that someone is watching us having sex. Is this a normal fantasy? Does it mean I’m some kind of exhibitionist? Should I be controlling these fantasies? Will I ever be able to orgasm again without them?

All sexual fantasies are "normal" if they are normal to YOU. For example, if you notice you only have the fantasy during high-stress periods or PMS, chances are the fantasy is a coping mechanism for stress and not what would be normal for you if you felt relaxed and upbeat. Sometimes people see changes in their fantasies when their life circumstances change: a move, a new job, a death in the family. Whatever impacts our emotions can impact our sexual fantasies.

It's possible that you are partly fantasizing to compensate for something you aren't getting in bed. Perhaps you need more stimulation or more creative sex. Boredom is by far a leading cause of fantasies!