Surveys have proven time and again that women have a wide range of fantasies that occur to them during sex but which they would never want to act on. The most common female fantasy, for example, is usually rape-oriented—whether actual rape (but not the full reality of rape, where a despicable criminal assaults and humiliates them, leaving them to feel violated and abused) or being "ravished" by a forceful, irresistible man. In fantasy, we pick attractive partners who do all the right things to make us feel hot and sexy. In other words, we script our fantasies to give us pleasure and that makes them safe, acceptable outlets for the wild and crazy thoughts that all adults have.

So I wouldn't worry too much that your fantasies mean that you are, or want to be, an exhibitionist in real life. The real question is whether the fantasies are coming between you and your partner, and whether you feel so guilty about them that it's not worth the orgasm. But if the fantasies are just your little secret way to get yourself off, and aren't causing any harm in real life, why deny yourself? You've found a reliable way to climax: Many women never do.