So I wouldn't worry too much that your fantasies mean that you are, or want to be, an exhibitionist in real life. The real question is whether the fantasies are coming between you and your partner, and whether you feel so guilty about them that it's not worth the orgasm. But if the fantasies are just your little secret way to get yourself off, and aren't causing any harm in real life, why deny yourself? You've found a reliable way to climax: Many women never do.

Gloria G. Brame holds a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality. She is a sex therapist and internationally-acclaimed author of books on sex and dating. You can visit her blog at http://gloriabrame.typepad.com.