According to some studies, 3 out of 4 women have trouble getting to the big “O” through good old sexual intercourse (penis-in-vagina-sex). That doesn’t mean that you don’t like it or love it, it’s just the least effective way to reach female orgasm. Direct or indirect clitoral stimulation is always going to be your pathway to such bliss. YOU are responsible for your own orgasm, not him; so this is your chance to get down to really knowing yourself and your own sexual response—how to get turned on and aroused; how to stay that way and move into the heightened state of that “just before” moment; and then how to surrender to the passion.

Be very careful of the frail male ego. Even though we are empowered, sassy and enlightened women, we have to go gently with our guys, letting them down easily when it comes to what is and isn’t working in bed. Just remember, you deserve to have an authentic orgasm with your boyfriend—and so does he.

All the best, Dr. Patti

Patti Britton, Ph.D., aka “Dr. Patti,” is a sexologist/sex coach and the President-Elect of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists. A frequent media guest and popular workshop speaker, Dr. Patti is also the author of The Art of Sex Coaching, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Sensual Massage, and The Adventures of Her in France. More about Dr. Patti can be found at www.yoursexcoach.com. Photo © istock/Dolgachov