• Rid yourself of negative sexual messages and replace them with positive, empowering messages. If you received negative messages about sex as a child, write them down and change them into positive ones. Seek professional therapy for events in your past that might have caused you to feel ashamed or repressed about sex.
    • Discard all negativity. Does that magazine make you feel inadequate? Don’t read it. Is that television show less than woman-positive? Don’t watch it. Does your partner make negative comments about you and make you feel less than beautiful? Get rid of him. Life is too short.
  • Adopt a positive attitude about life. All things are possible. There are no limits to what you can do.
  • Keep a journal. Complete this sentence: “One thing I love about me is …” and write down your thoughts and feelings daily.
  • Look in the mirror every day and repeat the following affirmation:
    • I am a sexy, sensual woman. I deserve sexual pleasure. I, and I alone, own my sexuality. I know how to bring pleasure to myself and to my partner. I love my body.
  • When you’re alone, walk around your home naked. As you pass mirrors, glance and appreciate the beauty of your body. Note the smooth curves of the feminine form. Now, practice your “Lola” walk: head is high, back straight, shoulders back, chest out, while your hips sway gently from side to side. The movement is subtle but unmistakably sexy.
    • If you have a private backyard, take your nudity experience outside. Savor the feel of the sun against your skin. Twirl in the wind with arms outstretched. Breathe deeply. Take a flower or leaf and gently brush it along the surface of your skin. Feel alive. Focus on the pleasure.
  • Get a makeover, including hair, manicure, pedicure, makeup. For maintenance, treat yourself to one of these treats regularly (at least twice a month).
  • Write an erotic story in which you are the main character.
  • Initiate sex. Tonight.
  • Study sex manuals and be willing to experiment and try new techniques.
  • Begin an exercise program and work out at least three times a week. A sexy, toned body will give you the confidence to make love in any position … with the lights on.
  • Smile. Nothing shows confidence more than a sexy “come-hither” smile.
  • Create a romantic atmosphere in your home.