How to Keep a Long-Distance Relationship Hot
While inexpensive webcams and voice chat programs have made it easier to hear the sound of your loved one’s voice, Dr. Marianne Brandon, Co-Director of The Sexual Wellness Center in Annapolis, Md., warns that it’s not how often you communicate but how well that counts. She also advises couples not to be shy about their desires—sexual or otherwise. As long as everyone’s comfortable, phone sex, cybersex, or leaving sexy answering machine messages are all healthy ways to connect with someone who’s not around.
Get Personal.
According to the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships, the average couple involved in a long distance relationship lives 125 miles apart, visits each other 1.5 times per month, calls each other three times per week and, perhaps most importantly, exchanges three hand-written letters each month. In fact, studies show that couples who stayed together through their long-distance relationship wrote snail mail letters to each other twice as often as long distance couples whose relationships failed.
When Elizabeth Whitmore, 19, moved to England for a year, leaving her boyfriend in Washington, D.C., she relied on the postal service to sustain her relationship. “It was a good way to communicate because you really had to think about what you were saying,” she says. “We would write three- and four-page letters, sometimes erotic. And when he went on tour around the United States, he sent me 180 post cards. It was fun and personal.” Getting personal is exactly what keeps couples together. While generic gifts such as flowers and chocolate are nice, handmade gifts that come from the heart make a lasting impression.
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I might be leaving in September for a year so I'll be forced to try the long-distance thing. It's scary to think about because we spend a lot of time together. It'll be a weird transition.
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when i was studying abroad and didn't see my beau for 4 months, i wrote him postcards and reminded him over email how much he was missed.
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I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 5 years and for most of it we were at opposite ends of the state. The most important thing I found worked for us is trust. I don't need to talk to him everyday to feel like we're still together. Actually, talking everyday didn't work for us, so we cut down to every other day.
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