The good news is that the direct and prolonged clitoral attention that women need to orgasm is something we can give ourselves - and we should - whether we have a partner or not. So, my best advice to you is to practice masturbation: If you just focus on pleasure, not on outcome, you'll eventually reach your peak.

Once you've learned to make your own magic happen, you can apply your know-how to sex with your partner. There are lots of creative ways to help you orgasm while making love. One caveat: Don't get too hung up on the specifics. The most important point to remember is that orgasms are orgasms are orgasms. There's no right or wrong way to have them. Your boyfriend doesn't even have to be the direct source so long as he brings you a wealth of other erotic delights.

When you've mastered your own orgasms, try the following:

  • Stroke yourself the way you do when you're alone and let your partner watch at first, and then let him take over until he gets the hang of it. Be patient with his "learning curve."