Oxytocin has been found to increase our levels of trust and make us feel more connected with people. But what if that oxytocin released during sex makes us feel connected with someone who’s wrong for us?

“A year ago, a friend flipped for a guy whom, when I met him, I didn’t quite ‘get.’ He wasn’t all that nice. Just what did she see in him, I wondered. But I started to understand, because whenever his name came up in conversation, so did great sex ... with him,” says blogger Kat Wilder. She adds: “I wouldn’t doubt all that lovin’ triggers that oxytocin bonding.”

“Oxytocin bonding” doesn’t only occur in flawed relationships though, sometimes it can emphasize feelings you have out of bed as well.

“Sometimes you just look at [your partner], and think, he makes me so happy. With [my boyfriend], it’s more like that after [sex]. It feels like a level of elation, but to a greater extreme—all I want to do is tell him how much I love him,” Tara* says.