Keep in mind that there is no right or wrong way to refer to body parts when having phone sex. Everyone has particular words or phrases that turn them on and others that make their skin crawl. The easiest way to find out what your partner likes is to listen to him. Does he call it his cock, his shaft, his weenie, his dick? It’s a good bet that whatever he calls it is what he wants to hear. Give him the same cues about your body parts. If he refers to your “boobies” and it jolts you out of the mood, counter with, “Oh, yes, I love it when you stroke my breasts /squeeze my nipples/ rub my tits like that.” He’ll eventually get the hint. (If he doesn’t, you may have to tell him directly, “Honey, I love you, but calling them ‘hooters’ just doesn’t get me hot.”) Before you start having phone sex, think of a few fallback phrases to use in case you simply can’t think of anything to say. “Oh, that feels so good” is almost always appropriate, and so is, “Oh yes, tell me more!” And don’t forget, often you don’t have to say anything at all. Heavy breathing, soft moans and sighs of pleasure go a long way all on their own.

Still feeling shy about having phone sex? Well, it can take practice to be comfortable saying those oh-so-naughty things. But the only way to learn is just to do it. You might not get above a whisper the first time, but trust me, even if you stammer and blush your way through the conversation, your guy will love it.

Miranda Austin is the author of Phone Sex: Aural Thrills and Oral Skills and co-author of The Toybag Guide to Erotic Knifeplay. Her fiction has appeared in anthologies such as Dreaming in Color, Lips Like Sugar: Women’s Erotic Fantasies, and Tales of Travelrotica. Her Web site is www.mirandaaustin.com.