SM: We can try to accept ourselves, but it can be near impossible to stop believing that your so-called flaws exist.
Sue Johanson: Stop and think about it. What can you do about a big butt? You have a big butt. You were probably born anatomically, genetically, with that as the way you’re going to be. And so it’s a question of, okay— push is coming to shove—either I’m going to go into a complete funk over my butt, exercise like mad and find that it really doesn’t work and the minute I stop exercising the flab comes back…or I could have a butt lift. It’s possible, but it’ll cost a lot of money and there could be complications. Do I really want to do that? I just think you’ve got to take a look at it and say this is the way it is.

SM: Then how do you begin to stop the cycle of self-loathing?
Sue Johanson: What I’d love females to do is stand in front of a full length mirror bare-, butt-naked, spread your arms out wide and talk to yourself. Say: “I have gorgeous arms. They are slim, they are trim, they are in good shape, they are strong. I like my arms. I have nice breasts. They may not be as big as I’d like or as small as I’d like, but they’re gorgeous. Oh, my nipples are inverted; isn’t that interesting? That will make it interesting for lovemaking and sexual stimulation. My partner can have lots of fun trying to bring the nipple out.” Stand there and look at yourself and admire yourself.