Q&A with Sue Johanson: Sex and Body Image
We invited Savvy Miss Members to join our interview with Sue Johanson. Here are some of their sex and body image questions.
Savvy Member: Is there something wrong with me if I can’t visualize myself in my own sexual fantasies?
Sue Johanson: That’s not uncommon for females, not at all. And that goes back to our childhood, when nice girls didn’t do things like that. And so, therefore, the image of yourself, lying on your back with legs akimble, is something that is too embarrassing. But you can imagine somebody else doing it and that becomes your fantasy. There’s no harm in that, whatsoever. I hope that you realize why the blockage is there, but that it’s okay. If you’re fantasizing that’s the important part.
Savvy Member: I constantly seek validation from my significant others. How do I leave behind the “Honey, do I look fat?”
Sue Johanson: You’re not going to believe your boyfriend telling you your body is beautiful. You’re not going to believe him. And you’re going to get involved in the game of “yes, but.” “Yes, but my butt is too fat,” “yes, but my boobs are too small,” “yes, but I have cellulite, I have stretch marks.” And “yes, butts” are self-defeating, so don’t go to him because you know damn well what he’s going to say. He’s not going to say “Well, actually honey, I can’t stand your stretch marks.” So give up on it, lady.
Savvy Member: Is there something wrong with me if I can’t visualize myself in my own sexual fantasies?
Sue Johanson: That’s not uncommon for females, not at all. And that goes back to our childhood, when nice girls didn’t do things like that. And so, therefore, the image of yourself, lying on your back with legs akimble, is something that is too embarrassing. But you can imagine somebody else doing it and that becomes your fantasy. There’s no harm in that, whatsoever. I hope that you realize why the blockage is there, but that it’s okay. If you’re fantasizing that’s the important part.
Savvy Member: I constantly seek validation from my significant others. How do I leave behind the “Honey, do I look fat?”
Sue Johanson: You’re not going to believe your boyfriend telling you your body is beautiful. You’re not going to believe him. And you’re going to get involved in the game of “yes, but.” “Yes, but my butt is too fat,” “yes, but my boobs are too small,” “yes, but I have cellulite, I have stretch marks.” And “yes, butts” are self-defeating, so don’t go to him because you know damn well what he’s going to say. He’s not going to say “Well, actually honey, I can’t stand your stretch marks.” So give up on it, lady.
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Displaying comments 1 to 5 out of 5
| eeeeeeeee4686 | |
| sex film | |
| Jake400 | |
| OK ladies. First, guys look at gals admiring their best qualities, where women look at themselves and spot the worst quality. Second, its not what you got, its how you use it. Great looking gals can be rotten in bed; and regular woman can be fuckalious! If your guy is hard and all over you, your body can't be that bad! RJ | |
| MyOwnRules | |
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She wasn't saying "all" models are anorexic. She's saying that looking at the ones who are anorexic it's gross.
| lauramc70 -- Los Angeles | |
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I think it is very irresponsible for a doctor to make mean and genaralized statements by implying that all fashion models are anorexic. When I was younger I was as thin as some of these women and was that way because I have a fast metabolism which is genetic. Now at 36 and 5'7 I still only weigh 125, I eat whatever I want and exersize minimally just to stay toned. I'm not saying only very thin women should be models, why can't there be models who are all shapes and sizes like the general population? I have been accused many times of being anorexic or bulimic mostly by mean and nasty former female co-workers. But also by a very ignorant nurse in jr. high school who acted as if I had committed some kind of crime by being thin. These accusations were very hurtful to me and these women seemed to want me to have an eating disorder so they could feel good about why I was thin and about themselves. Dr. Johanson also talks meanly about how models' bodies look when they are naked. Should some of these women and girls have eating disorders they are going to extremely insecure and to talk negatively about the way they look will only make their conditions worse. Women or girls with these disorders should have our sympathy because they have an illness and should not be insulted. Mean descriptions would not be used for overweight women because it would seem insensitive. Even at my thinest, I always felt like a woman, yes a "real" woman. I always liked eating, sex, and life which Dr. Johanson says are liked by women who have flesh on their bones. I guess not by women who don't. Well she can kiss my skinny white ass! And of course a thin man would just be thought of as thin, not anorexic. Why is it that men can weigh 100 pounds or 350 pounds and do not face the same scrutiny! |
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| Olivia -- Tucson | |
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It's so true! I have so many friends that are afraid to really let go in bed because they're worried about what they look like.
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