I was sitting in the lobby of S Factor, nervously fidgeting in my yoga pants and pretending something exciting was happening on my cell phone, when a girl—a gorgeous, “I’m an actress” kind of girl—asked me if it was my “first time.” Feeling like she’d just called me a virgin, I blushed and nodded. I wonder what gave it away. My all black outfit? The look of terror on my face? “You’ll love it,” she said. Don’t bank on it, I thought.

Celebrities like Teri Hatcher, Kate Hudson and Lisa Rinna have long promoted S Factor and pole dancing as the exercise that empowers women. And because tons of celebrities can’t be wrong, I am participating in an S Factor workout, to see for myself whether or not this exercise really is empowering, or simply about pleasing a man.

But before we start, let’s make one thing clear. I may appreciate the way my legs look in a pair of killer stilettos and a miniskirt, but I am no sexpot. And in addition to my fear and some see-through stilettos, I am carrying a fair bit of contempt in my gym bag. Like my sister-in-law puts it: “When they start a stripping class for men, I’ll come watch— with my cigar.” As I’m led into the warm up, all I can think is how I want to prove this activity unpleasant.