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Rethink the Missionary Position: Three Ways to Spice up a Classic
So why do we love missionary? It’s probably not because we’re lazy. For many, it’s associated with “making love” and we’ll sacrifice an orgasm to feel connected with our partners. That’s nice and all, but who says we can’t have both: the intimacy and the amazing orgasms? Below are three ways to step up the sensations during missionary, without sacrificing the connectivity.
Missionary Makeover No. 1: Make like a C.A.T.No, don’t get down on all fours (that’s another position entirely), but rather, try the Coital Alignment Technique. Basically, the man raises himself up so that he’s closer to a 90 degree angle from the woman. The most important thing is to have either the shaft of his penis or his pubic mound (the area right above his penis) against her clitoris.
“[It’s] the riding high idea. He’s coming out of her further so his pelvic bone is stroking her clitoris. He’s not thrusting as deep so it’s more of a rocking motion between the two of them, so her clitoris is being stimulated more consistently,” says Dr. Joy Davidson, sex therapist and creator of The Joy Spot.
However, she cautions that this method isn’t foolproof.
“It doesn’t work very well for people who like a lot of deep thrusting, especially women who are more responsive to pressure up near the cervix. It may be [better] using it at various points in the love making instead of something you do all the time,” Davidson says.
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Displaying comments 1 to 13 out of 13
| addy | |
| The only thing I like about the missionary position is it hides my body. Other than that, it doesn't do much for me. | |
| AbbyGal -- Atlanta | |
| Totally agree. The only thing missionary is good for is hiding my stomach. I feel most comfortable in that position, but it's the least pleasurable for me. I've always wondered if men even like it? Any men out there willing to comment on what their fav position is? (And why?) | |
| james1234 | |
| Truth? I feel I can speak for most men - favorite position - doggy style or woman on top. We like missionary ok - but as far as feeling and visual goes doggy style and woman on top are the best. Men are visual creatures - I'm just telling you all the truth and we like to watch our "parts" go inside and doggy style is the best view. Woman on top is so sexy though to be able to see a woman comfortable and in control. A lot of women think they have to have perfect bodies to do this. They don't. Just have a good time and that's the sexiest thing you can ever do. What it all comes down to, is men are almost always more insecure in bed than women could ever be. Just enjoy yourself honestly and we're in heaven. | |
| erinness -- Portland | |
| I feel the same as AbbyGal - I only like missionary because I can hide my body. Every other position I'm self-conscious. But it is a boring position and probably out of 200 orgasms I've had in my life (yeah I'm lucky) only one has been from missionary - one!!! That one was because we were in a public place and it was so risky and exciting I just orgasm'd. Otherwise, pretty boring position. But I'll give these tips a try. Why not, right? | |
| diver1068 | |
| Real deal ladies, men are just so thankful you'll have sex with us, we don't care what position. With that said though, after a few years with the same partner we do like to spice things up with positions, talk, toys, whatever really. We're so insecure in bed, the only thing we want is for you to reach orgasm. My last girlfriend seemed satisfied with every position but I did notice a little more elation when she was on top. Which leads me to my question...do you really fake it? If so, why????? | |
| happygal | |
| Hate to break it to you but yeah, we fake...a lot. In fact, I probably fake 90% of the time. Not that I don't love my fiance but sometimes he just can't bring it and I'd rather fake and have him feel satisfied than not (obviously some feminine caretaker issues here). I enjoy what I have with him and then when I need I have my rabbit. Men can't usually tell if a woman fakes it because they don't want to. But if they paid a little more attention they'd be able to tell the difference between faux and real orgasms eventually. But would you even care? PS - learn these missionary tips because the way most of you are doing it, the only orgasm you'll get are fake, fake, and fake. Sorry, but true. | |
| diver1068 | |
| Ouch! Ok, I can appreciate that. Most men whether you know or not actually feel good knowing they've pleased the woman they're with. That matters more or contributes to our overall experience. I want to call any woman out on it if they're faking with me, so how exactly can we tell if it's real or not? Is there something I'm missing here? | |
| chicananerd -- ontario | |
| Maybe I'm alone on this, but I can/do orgasm from the missionary position. My bf is ususally very, um, attentive to making sure I get there so I find it a pretty successful position for us. As for faking it, well, I think a lot of women fake it because it's easier than having to explain/comfort the guy that couldn't get you to climax. I have faked it in the past, but realized it's really not worth it... | |
| lily -- Los Angeles | |
| Chicananerd - I agree with you - I try not to fake orgasms with my boyfriend. He can totally tell when I'm "acting" and it usually makes him sad, so I've realized that it's just not worth it. That being said, I love how close I feel with my bf during missionary, but I can never orgasm from it. | |
| marinewife | |
| Ok this is one way to tell. if you have ever given your girl oral, everyone knows if you do it right, you give her an orgasm. Pay attention closely, when you give her an oral orgasm, watch and pay attention to how she reacts. even if its not intense you'll know and she'll usually stop you, clitoris orgasms leave the area very sensitive and afterwards a girl cant take anymore. Now when you have intercorse watch for that same reaction, it may be slightly different but you should still be able to tell. if her reaction is completely different or over top she's faking. But some girls are pros at this, but still another way to tell is to think with your penis. When a woman has an orgasm mucas is realeased, so if you fell her no wetness change down there and she fakes one you'll know but if you feel a wetter sensation then she had an orgasm. but you have ot pay attention and know the differences. | |
| yeahbaby | |
| As a guy, my least fav position is missionary, although I think the level of intimacy is higher, the actual pleasure both my girlfriend I get from it is not as good as say cowgirl. With her on top, she gets to control which part of her gets the most stimulation. She knows what works for her, all women are different after all. I don't think that men really care if they can see your belly wobble or whatever - we're too busy enjoying ourselves - so I wouldn't feel too self-conscious if I were you ladies. As for faking orgasm's - personally, I don't feel that it is my responsibility alone to make her orgasm - it's a dual effort for both of us. If you want to fake it, then fake it, you're just kidding yourself. | |
| Dgirl2010 | |
| I always knew men hated missionary. Thing is, it's one of my favorites, depending on my mood. I don't like it for any insecurity reasons. I'm happy with my body. I like it because our bodies are the closest that way. Yes, it's more intimate, but I just like it when he basically engulfs me within his chest and arms (makes me feel safe), or pins my hands above my head. I love being dominated, just as much as I love being dominant. I always climax, every time, and often, in missionary (of course I've been told I'm easy to please). But I like being on top, too. Works for me. However, I hate doggy-style. Really really hate it. There's a variety of others I enjoy, just really hate doggy-style. Sorry, boys. | |
| conceptualclarity | |
| Excuse me, Kira, but you have made a noteworthy error that should be corrected. The survey results do not say that only 12% of Savvymiss women are able to orgasm in the missionary position. 12% is the figure for those who said it was their most reliable way to orgasm ahead of the other choices of masturbation, oral sex, and woman-on-top sex.With 80% of the respondents saying they orgasmed during intercourse, the figure for orgasming in missionary would doubtless be much higher than 12%. | |
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