The Dos & Don'ts for "Bedroom Talk"
In the Moment Don’t: Let Problems Go Unacknowledged
“In the early part of our relationship, we communicated about sex all the time,” says Celeste, 27. “We’d give hints and looks and plenty of direct discussion like, ‘I found it mildly embarrassing when I flooded your bed.’ Let’s face it, no matter how much you want each other or how attractive your partner may be, sex isn’t always smooth, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be. Addressing problems immediately in a relaxed manner and mutually coming up with solutions that satisfy both partners not only makes sex more fun, it also strengthens the relationship and gives your partner a better understanding of how your erotic buttons work.
After-the-Do Do: Break It Down
The last thing most people want to hear after a heated night of passion is a play-by-play analysis of who did what, but Dr. Barratt says that having a State of the Sexual Union conversation periodically during a relationship can be helpful and hot. “We have the fantasy that in a good relationship, the honeymoon is going to continue forever but the fact of the matter is that people grow and change at different speeds,” says Barratt. “These things need to be reviewed periodically.”
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I know - sugar - it does. One time my boyfriend made a comment about me kissing him too lightly. I had just had my tonsils out for heavens sake. Give me a break!
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I really liked this article particularly because I am not a wordy person but when I do it, I want to know I am saying the right things. But also, this article brought something to mind that occurred this week, he told me that I have wet kisses and its too much saliva. I was in the bed when he said that I was offended by his insensitive comment. But to me, my kisses are wet but not sloppy. It hurts when you say things like that in bed for sure.
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I like the comment about sex not always being smooth. Because it's not. You can try and make it sexy and serious--just like every faux love scene in the movies, but it's just so impossible. A joke here and there actually makes me enjoy it more because I'm not trying to be super "perfect" in bed.
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