Warming Up Don’t: Keep It Clinical
While sexual communication should be frequent and direct, Kristin, 24, warns that nothing kills the lovemakin’ mood faster than using clinical language. “Scientific discussion should never take place in the bedroom,” she says. “No ‘vaginas’ or ‘penis’ talk. You can be subtle and sexy and still communicate your desires.” To keep things in spicy mode, ditch words you’d use with your gyno and stick with phrases that accompany action, such as “I love it when you touch me here” or “This feels really nice.”

In the Moment Do: Show and Tell
The fastest way to let him know what you want—what you really want—is simply to show your partner what you like, says Dr. Alice Ladas, co-author of The G Spot: And Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality. “The way people experience pleasure is very varied,” she comments. “Some women learn to bring themselves to climax by rubbing their legs together. Others do it by rubbing a pillow against the clitoris… it’s important for the man to know that his partner needs her legs somewhat close together or needs a combined stimulation of the clitoris and vagina.” Sexy and assertive at the same time, giving your partner a free pass to Your Body 101 guarantees fewer bedroom fumbles.