When a Savvy Miss asked the following question we turned to Tantric Sexpert, Dr. Judy Kuriansky.

My boyfriend knows how to bring me to a fantastic orgasm, but he says he would like to feel more closeness between us. Something more than "just sex." How can we make this happen?

You can reach new excitement, bliss and intimacy through ancient techniques of tantric sex. This originated in India, China and Nepal and is being revived and adapted in the West. Using breath, intention, sounds, meditations, movements and rituals you can relax, arouse and exchange love energy. Follow these steps for sacred and spiritual sex:

 
  1. Decorate your bedroom as a sacred and special place. Drape scarves over exposed lamps, plump pillows, use silk linens.
  2. Bathe with scented oils. Dress in sheer, flowing and sensuous-feeling materials, like silks and velvets. Consider yourself a beautiful goddess worthy of being honored.
  3. Boudoir basics: Sit facing each other with spine straight (she can straddle in his lap) to align the seven energy centers of your body: seated area, sex center, power center (below the navel), heart center, throat, space between the eyes and crown of the head.
  4. Exchange energy: Breathe in and out five times at the same pace to synchronize your energies. Then breathe in while your partner breathes out (synchronized breathing) as if breathing for one another. Put your right hand on each other’s heart, tapping lightly to awaken loving energy and place your left hand on each other’s back. Imagine breathing love through your hand into each other’s heart, out your hand and up your arm into your own heart, creating a cycle of love energy circulating through each other’s body.
  5. Heart-felt intercourse: With you in the “on top” position, lower yourself onto his phallus and breathe out, as if sending your love energy into his penis and have him breathe your love in through his penis and up into his heart. Then he should breathe his love out through his penis into your vagina and you inhale the love energy into your heart—creating a cycle of love through your sexual parts into your hearts.
  6. Slow Go: During intercourse, slow down three times and breathe in together. Squeeze your pelvic muscles to tighten the connection between you. Breathe this energy up into your heart, imagining being filled with love. Look deeply into each other’s eyes, into the soul, and whisper more intentions to go even deeper into love.
  7. Afterglow: Lay locked in one another’s arms, continuing to circulate love energy into each other through all body parts in contact (arms, heart, thighs, genitals). Press your heart centers and genitals against one another gently, look into each other’s eyes and continue synchronized breathing.