sexual positions, the best sexual position for the female orgasm, cowgirl position

There's no better sexual position for the female orgasm than cowgirl or woman-on-top. It’s got all the right ingredients: you’re in control of everything, there’s external and internal stimulation and he can usually last longer in this sexual position than others because he’s lying on his back. But quality ingredients alone do not make a gourmet (or orgasmic) meal, you’ve got to know what to do with them.

That’s why we put together the ultimate guide to this amazing sexual position for the female orgasm. Here you’ll find out how to position yourself, ways to move and guidance on reaching that ever-elusive climax. Saddle up and read on!

© iStock/Paul Piebinga The basics.
Once you’re up there, you have a few options for your legs and arms. One leg move is to squat over him with only your feet on the ground or bed on either side of his hips. This can feel great but can also have your thighs burning in moments.

You can also kneel or straddle over him in this female-friendly sexual position. This move is a little less strenuous and gives you more options. Dr. Sadie Allison, president of TickleKitty.com, says putting your feet on top of his thighs will give you even more stability.

You have more freedom with your arms when you're on top. They can be placed anywhere from his chest, right down by his sides or around his neck. Arm position will also affect how close you are to him, how your back is and the angle he’s inside you. Try a few options to see what feels best, since every combination will feel slightly different. If you’ve maneuvered yourself to where you don’t need to balance on your arms you can use them to stimulate him—or yourself.

© iStock/Sean Nel Switching it up a bit.
In addition to traditional arm and leg movements, you can also try reverse cowgirl, the sexual position where you’re on top facing his feet. For some couples this move can help you hit the g-spot and feel great for him. Dr. Allison recommends arching your back to hit better angles inside you and to give him a stunning visual.

Another way to switch up being on top is to change locations, specifically to a chair. Dr. Joy Davidson, sex therapist and creator of The Joy Spot, says this sexual position (where you basically sit on his lap) can make all the difference for women who may not like traditional cowgirl. Because the angle of penetration is different and you’re very close together, it can give you new sensations and offers a lot of clitoral stimulation.

“Furniture matters; don’t reject the position until you’ve tried every piece of furniture in your house,” she says.

© iStock/Lise Gagne Rolling with it.
Okay, so you’ve got your arms, legs and maybe your chair positioned, now what do you do? Start moving—and here’s how:

Up and down—This move is great for him, not quite as much for you though since the clitoral stimulation you’re getting is stopping and starting.

Rocking your hips gets maximum stimulation from his penis pushing against you and you rubbing your clitoris against him.

Rotating your hips—Figure eights, side to side, circular motions…try them all and see what works best for you.

Moving to the side—You don’t have to stay centered all the time. You can lift up, move your hips to the side and come back down or go in a circle. This move will hit spots you don’t normally get in normal up and down moves and may feel surprisingly good for him too.

The most important thing after experimenting with sexual positions is to get in a rhythm once you’ve found a few moves you like. Dr. Allison says it’s like dancing, so think of a beat and keep moving. You can even put on music if that helps.

© iStock/Davina Graham The grand finale.
You’ve heard the hype about how easy it is to orgasm in this sexual position and now we’re going to help you do it. One of the advantages to cowgirl is that your partner’s hands are free, so put them to work! He can be stimulating you all over with his hands, a vibrator, whatever you want.

Dr. Barnaby B. Barratt, sex therapist and director of the Center for Tantric Spirituality, says being on top also helps you breathe more easily, which is key for reaching orgasm.

Dr. Allison offers a little known tip for orgasming on top: tilt your pelvis forward. It sounds so simple, but what that does is flatten your vulva onto his pubic area. Then, if you move your hips in circular motions without lifting up, you’re getting lots of clitoral stimulation (By basically masturbating on top of him. Don’t worry, he won’t mind.) and he gets to feel inside you—everyone wins!

© iStock/Stanislav Komogorov Feeling on top when you’re on top.
Some women avoid this sexual position because they feel self-conscious about their bodies—from our boobs and stomach jiggling to our concerns about him supporting our weight when we’re on top—and it is true that you’re pretty exposed up there. But there are some tricks you can try to feel more confident.

Invest in some cute lingerie that you feel comfortable in (no one said you had to be completely naked) and do a mirror check beforehand to affirm your hotness. You can also set the mood lighting (candles or no lights at all), so you don’t feel like there’s a spotlight on your trouble areas. Sitting in a chair is also good since you’re less on display. You can also lock eyes with your partner; if he’s looking at your face then he’s not looking at your body. Start slow. If you get up there and feel awkward then change positions and next time try to go for a little longer.

The important thing is to block any negative thoughts you might have during sex. Dr. Davidson says these thoughts can knock out any sensations you might be feeling—meaning the actual sexual position won’t do much for you if all you can think about is your thighs. So focus on the positive and let your senses take over your brain for awhile. And remind yourself that your partner isn’t thinking about your tummy bulge or whatever cellulite (real or imagined) you have; he’s just thrilled you’re up there—and you know he’s turned on by you (guys can’t exactly fake it like women sometimes can). So adopt his attitude and think of yourself as a sexy woman. He obviously does!

Cowgirl isn’t for everyone and Dr. Davidson warns that it takes some practice—you might not enjoy it much the first few times around. But after a couple tries it might just become your new favorite sexual position.

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