Invest in some cute lingerie that you feel comfortable in (no one said you had to be completely naked) and do a mirror check beforehand to affirm your hotness. You can also set the mood lighting (candles or no lights at all), so you don’t feel like there’s a spotlight on your trouble areas. Sitting in a chair is also good since you’re less on display. You can also lock eyes with your partner; if he’s looking at your face then he’s not looking at your body. Start slow. If you get up there and feel awkward then change positions and next time try to go for a little longer.

The important thing is to block any negative thoughts you might have during sex. Dr. Davidson says these thoughts can knock out any sensations you might be feeling—meaning the position won’t do much for you if all you can think about is your thighs. So focus on the positive and let your senses take over your brain for awhile. And remind yourself that your partner isn’t thinking about your tummy bulge or whatever cellulite (real or imagined) you have; he’s just thrilled you’re up there—and you know he’s turned on by you (guys can’t exactly fake it like women sometimes can). So adopt his attitude and think of yourself as a sexy woman. He obviously does!