Now is a good time to explore your clitoris. Some women prefer to have one finger in the vagina while the other searches for the right spot. Feel for the clitoris and see what type of strokes feel good. The clitoris is bigger than previously thought and has “arms” that are buried underneath the skin—experiment with the whole area to find your soft spot.

If it doesn’t feel sensitive, try using your other hand to pull your skin away from the clitoris. At the same time, look for a second erogenous zone to maximize your pleasure. This could be a finger or two in the vagina, massaging your outer lips, or some form of anal stimulation. You might want to use a toy to help you along.

Continue experimenting until you feel a peak, a point where it no longer feels intense. Rest and repeat.

Don’t worry if you feel the earth hasn’t moved—we still haven’t worked out how to describe the female orgasm. The urologist J.G. Bohlen found there was little difference between the perception of orgasm by women and physiological signs of it as measured in the laboratory.