IX. A woman is always well within her rights to request a shower, toothbrushing, or any other action that will render her partner more hygienically suitable for the bedroom. (Try a tactful, “Dinner was delicious, but I would rather kiss you without revisiting the garlic bread.”)






X. A woman’s partner shall always appreciate her body; shall never purposely make her feel self-conscious, inadequate, fat or unattractive; nor shall he compare her to prior partners, models or porn stars. The breaching of any one of these rights shall not be deemed reason for an abrupt cessation of sexual congress, but rather be seen as an opportunity for improvement. If, after several attempts to rectify the situation, such as discussion, analysis of what’s not working or repeated exhortations of “No, do it this way, sweetie,” no consensus can be reached, then a woman should seriously consider whether continuing to sleep with this partner is worth her while. Excerpted with permission from The Girls Guide to Absolutely Everything by Melissa Kirsch © 2006, Workman Publishing Company, Inc. Melissa Kirsch has been writing professionally for and about young women since 1998, when she was an editor at one of the first sites for girls on the Web. She has written for Nerve, Ladies’ Home Journal, National Geographic Traveler and ScientificAmerican.com.  A widely published poet and the recipient of numerous writing awards and fellowships, Melissa writes the “My Secret Library” column for KGB Bar Lit magazine and lives in New York City. Visit her online at www.melissakirsch.com.