Are You Too Smart to Date?

By Lisa Daily

I am pretty smart.

Not Marilyn vos Savant smart, mind you, but always the first one at the table to figure out the tip smart. Movie trivia smart. Gets Dennis Miller smart. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to end up married to a guy I considered to be at least slightly brighter than I am. I'm not sure why, but smack at the top of my laundry list of must-haves, there it's always been: A high IQ, wedged in between good teeth, a dry sense of humor and a working knowledge of basic chemistry. Nice hamstrings a plus.

Most of my female friends secretly feel the same. It's not that we're a bunch of Barbies looking for a guy who can squeeze the word asynapsis into everyday conversation, or explain the inner workings of quantum physics and nuclear fission to us over linguine and string bean casserole every night, while we stare blankly into space and wonder what happened today on Days of Our Lives. It's just that most women, when we think about long-term relationships, want to marry up. Biology compels us to seek out the best possible long-term mate we can snag for our own. In fact, statistics show we're looking for a man who is taller, older and smarter. Which is lucky, because men, apparently, are looking to be with someone shorter, younger and (gasp) dumber.

According to two recent studies in Britain and the United States, smarter girls were less likely to find a man who wanted to marry them. More bad news for girl geniuses, their chances were reduced dramatically in direct relation to their level of intelligence.

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Displaying comments 1 to 4 out of 4

kristart
What about people being different kinds of "smart"? If one partner is great at math and the other is great in languages I think they can compliment each other really well. On another note...I think many guys like to date women that are less intelligent, but like to marry women that are on the same intellectual level.

swan480

As I consider myself a highly intelligent woman, I have a few comments to make.

First of all, I've dated men who are both dumber and smarter than me. The dumber ones typically felt threatened to me and constantly tried to cut me down on an emotional level to make up for it. The smarter ones (of which there were very few) were incredibly annoying - I wasn't a threat because I wasn't smarter than them, but instead I was a trophy because I was *almost* as smart.

Personally, I think it's insulting to smart women to hear an intelligent woman say she wants to find a man who's smarter than her. It's like saying you *want* to be subordinate to your significant other. When I found my Mr. Right, I knew he was intelligent and well-read enough for me to hold a conversation with him, and that was enough for me. To this day I don't know who's smarter...and I honestly don't care. We have an equal relationship, and that's what matters.

However, I *do* think there's some truth to the idea that smart women marry less because they know better. Think of it this way: half of those who *do* marry these days get divorced. So maybe less smart women get married, but has anyone thought to look at the divorce rates? Maybe smart women are more likely to have high self esteem, less likely to feel dependent on men, and therefore less likely to make mistakes in their love life.

If that's the case, I think the lower marriage rate among smart women are ENcouraging, rather than DIScouraging.

LISAMATTIE3955 -- BERKELEY

HELLO FROM LISAMATTIE3955, YES TO A CERTAIN POINT FOR ME DATING A MAN, WHY CAUSE ME PERSONALLY I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THE MEN SHOULD NOT BE TOLD WHAT TO DO, HOW TO THINK, THINK WITH BASIC COMMON SENCE, DO SIMPLE TASKS,AND FOR ME LISA I THINK BEFORE I ASK A QUESTION TO A PERSON AND I USE MOST BASIC COMMON SENCE THATS SOMETHING MOST MEN AND WOMEN DONT DO NOW DAYS AND WHEN THEY RELIZE WHAT THEY HAVE SAID ITS TO LATE TO CHANGE RIGHT.MOST MEN DONT THINK LOGICAL ENOUGH FOR ME SO I RATHER BE ALONE,ITS GETS LONELY TO BE A LONE BUT FOR ME LISA IM FINE WITH IT, AND ME I LIKE OLDER MEN ANY WAY SO MOST TIMES I DONT HAVE THOSE PROBLEMS MOST WOMEN GO THROUGH WITH A MAN ANY WAY CAUSE I STAND AND LOOK BEFORE I JUMP RIGHT. THANKS LISAMATTIE3955

miss.summer

Well, I guess the men will run away after he read this topic {smile}

In my opinion, that is one of the reason why more single women being single. We are just too high to reached.

It's not mean that we have to stay for less but we have to be realistic. For me, when I and a man have a good conversation, respect each other and have a mutual interested that should be the most important things. Smart men sometimes also dumb in conversation and affection. I understand no one is perfect as well as me.

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