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PrintDoes it Matter How Many People You’ve Slept with?
I’m seeing a man who recently revealed to me that he’s slept with over 100 women and he’s only 30! He says he used to be a “playboy” but that those days are over now. We’ve had fun with each other and I would like to keep seeing him, but I can’t help questioning his character—I mean, was he sleeping with anything that walked before?! Is there a way for me to look past this guy’s past? Should sexual history really matter in the first place?
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Displaying comments 1 to 10 out of 10
| nicole007 -- San Diego | |
| Jason Mulgrew is my new hero! Funny as hell and definitely endearing. LOL. Are you still single?!?!? | |
| asya | |
| I would leave that guy like a bullet. There's got to be something wrong with him. Either he is fickle and unstable or he has really low self-esteem. | |
| lily -- Los Angeles | |
| Really? 100? Drop him like it's hot. | |
| fun_in_the_sun | |
| This would definitely bother me. I would constantly wonder what it is he wants from me. But if he stays faithful to you and proves he really has changed, I say go for it. | |
| fiona | |
| 100 women is a bit excessive, isn't it? Either he's lying or he really got around. But if it's true and he says he's a changed man, don't let it bother you. I'm sure you can't help it (who wouldn't?), but the past is in the past. The only thing you can do is get over it to be happy! | |
| KatWilder -- Marin County | |
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Yes, sexual history does count -- along with other a lot of other things as well. You don't say how long you've been seeing him, what other qualities he has that might redeem his character (or show a different side), etc. So, I don't see a need to dump him yet (or ever) if you don't delve a little deeper. Nothing wrong in asking him why he slept with 100 women and what's changed now. Then listen to what he says (not what you hope he says). And if you don't think you can get past it ... move on. Otherwise it will always be the "thing" that comes between you.
| brownhairbabe | |
| Sleeping with 100 women is definitely a little sketchy, either he's lying (which is bad, who want's to be with a lier?) or he's only interested in sex. I would stay clear of this guy, I wouldn't want to be just another tally on his growing total. | |
| MinnieSheila | |
| Of course sexual history matters, but it should be put into context. If he has a good explanation of why he was so promiscuous in the past and you really think he's changed, then give him a chance. I'd hate for someone to dismiss me automatically for some of the mistakes I've made in the past. | |
| redhead_84 | |
| I would agree that matters but only on a health level. Is the person you are with STD free? If so, then who cares? I believe if this site is for intelligent and brilliant women (or so it states) sexual equality and freedom to express oneself should be allowed. If you are monogamous, then fabulous. If you are single, dating, whatever- great! I think our society places a lot of sideways glances and pressure on women to appear sexually demure yet sexually exposed in public (at least in appearance). Why must we "frown" on someone whose slept with more than 20 people? Or 40 people, etc? If the person I'm with is with me only AND free of disease I don't care who they had sex with before me. And another thing, so men will just be permitted to blurt out their "sex number" and we have to remain quiet and accepting as their significant others? Seriously? What is this the 1950s? No thanks, I'm not that sort of woman thankyouverymuch. I believe in honesty. And I have dated a lot. And had a large number of lovers in my past. It doesn't suggest that I'm some sort of wild animal- humping anything that moves, now does it? My fiance and I have discussed our "sex numbers" and his is over a hundred and mines slightly lower than his. If anything I'm pleased I have someone awesome who when we want to make love knows exactly what he is doing and being it I know my body and my mind/body connection are not foreign to me, we can share passionate times together. The way I see it is it doesn't matter if your past is full of bad choices or mistakes, thats what life is for. To learn, to make err, and to move forward. Let's be adults about this, really people. | |
| sojahseh81 | |
| Well, I had my fun when I was in my early twenties..I am only 30, and I've been with about 60 men. Most were good friends. I know my future hubby was a playboy in his early days as well, he's 45..I think that you shouldn't ask questions you don't want the answer to...we have never asked that of each other, but I know of his past from his friends...it doesn't bother me because I know where he is every night, and both of us are clean with no STD's and I don't have any kids..so I was very responsible.. | |
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