There are ways to figure out your work style and your learning style, so why not your lovestyle? Psychologist John A. Lee interviewed hundreds of people and concluded that there were a number of different ways of “being” in a relationship. Understanding this makes it a whole lot easier to keep your sex life on course. Are you eros?
  • You see someone across a room and just “know” they’re for you.
  • Sexual feelings are important — love is central to your life.
  • It’s hard for you to find the right one — you’re choosy.
Are you ludus?
  • You hate to be tied down to events in the future with a partner.
  • In the past you have been accused of being emotionally immature or commitment-phobic.
  • You find loads of different people attractive.
Are you storge?
  • Love will fade but you can live with a friend for life.
  • Love is the basis of a strong community for you.
  • When you’re good friends with someone, sexual problems can be resolved.
Are you mania?
  • To you, being in love is synonymous with anxiety, even obsession.
  • You’re capable of losing weight, sleep and sometimes your sanity when you’re truly in love.
  • It takes a long while for you to recover from a breakup — inevitably you’re the dumped, not the dumper.
Are you pragma?
  • You have a shopping list of criteria that you expect your partner to fulfill.
  • You believe you can master any goal with some common sense, including a successful relationship.
  • You’d never end up with someone who didn’t fit in with your ambitions for your life and your social group.
Eros lovers have an idealized physical image of their lover. But equally they believe they are on the planet to love one other person unstintingly—they’ve just got to find them! They stay loyal as long as romance is high on the agenda. If you’re with an erotic lover, don’t forget romance.