Sometimes couples get so wrapped up planning the wedding; they forget about the actual marriage. Married life isn’t all cozy dinners and regular sex; it’s also a lot of compromise and communication. So what are the newly-wed hurdles and how will we get through them?

The word sounds easy enough, but when it comes to all the routine parts in our lives we take for granted (and have been doing the same way for years), it can be easier said than done.

You may be a clean freak and he may think it’s fine to leave a week’s worth of dishes in the sink. Or he might crash at 10 p.m. while you’d rather stay up past midnight. Each of these living adjustments can initially seem like deal breakers, but if you’re married then you can’t bail so easily—you need to find some middle ground. That may mean you don’t blow up at him whenever there’s a dirty plate on the counter and he takes a nap in the evening so he can stay up with you, but whatever the solution, it should be something the two of you come up with together.

Family, Friends and Houseguests.
Couples need to decide how often family and friends will be invited over and how much time they’ll spend socializing because people often have very different expectations of what’s appropriate. He may not want your mother staying with you for two weeks at a time and you may not want his old frat buddies taking over the living room. So speak up early and establish your family boundaries.

“You have to make a decision that, if I’m going to get married, my family has to take second place, and you have to say that, they take second place. If you are not willing to put your family and friends second, then you’re not ready to get married,” says Judge Lynn Toler, from the show Divorce Courtand now on the new show Decision House.