How to Keep a long-distance relationship hot, sex and long-distance relationships

For the estimated seven million U.S. couples currently in long distance relationships, sex and intimacy come with a whole different set of challenges. Instead of a simple “your place or mine?” you’ve got plane tickets, work schedules and much more to contend with. It’s no wonder many couples just can’t handle the distance. But if you’re stuck spending time apart there are ways to still feel close—and even keep your sex lives thriving. Check out these tips from women who kept their long distance relationships healthy and sexually satisfying.
Change It Up.
Couples stuck without the benefit of regular face-to-face contact have to find alternative ways to connect in order to keep their relationship going. For Tina Snyder, 37, starting a relationship with a man living 170 miles away meant long phone calls, frequent e-mails and a mutual commitment to open communication. “I believe our communication held us together during the first year of our relationship,” says Snyder, who recently became engaged. “We would talk for hours every night. We talked about everything: work, children, careers, our future. And we had a lot of phone sex.”

While inexpensive webcams and voice chat programs have made it easier to hear the sound of your loved one’s voice, Dr. Marianne Brandon, Co-Director of The Sexual Wellness Center in Annapolis, Md., warns that it’s not how often you communicate but how well that counts. She also advises couples not to be shy about their desires—sexual or otherwise. As long as everyone’s comfortable, phone sex, cybersex, or leaving sexy answering machine messages are all healthy ways to connect with someone who’s not around.

Get Personal.
According to the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships, the average couple involved in a long distance relationship lives 125 miles apart, visits each other 1.5 times per month, calls each other three times per week and, perhaps most importantly, exchanges three hand-written letters each month. In fact, studies show that couples who stayed together through their long-distance relationship wrote snail mail letters to each other twice as often as long distance couples whose relationships failed.