Many guys say that the difference between snooze-worthy and sensational sex lies in what women do with our mouths. Actually, most doctors say the same thing. According to the experts, sexual communication—the art of letting your lover know exactly how to make you moan with pleasure—is the key factor in determining whether your night will end with “OH! OH!” or an uncomfortable “it’s time for me to go.” Here are the dos and don'ts for healthier, more intimate sex.

Warming Up Do: Get Verbal
Before jumping into the sack, Dr. Barnaby Barratt, President of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists, recommends verbally letting your partner know exactly what you want. “One of the pitfalls of nonverbal communication is ambiguity,” he states. “Making desires verbal is helpful. If we have to ask ‘Is it ok to hold hands?,’ it automatically makes us own our actions.” Owning your actions and desires, not only shows your partner how to be a more fulfilling lover, it also causes you to feel erotically empowered and there’s nothing sexier than that.

Warming Up Don’t: Keep It Clinical
While sexual communication should be frequent and direct, Kristin, 24, warns that nothing kills the lovemakin’ mood faster than using clinical language. “Scientific discussion should never take place in the bedroom,” she says. “No ‘vaginas’ or ‘penis’ talk. You can be subtle and sexy and still communicate your desires.” To keep things in spicy mode, ditch words you’d use with your gyno and stick with phrases that accompany action, such as “I love it when you touch me here” or “This feels really nice.”