When it comes to sex, all women should know their rights in the bedroom. Never should we feel suppressed, denied, or deprived, but only assertive and in control of our sexual pleasure. Read the Amendments below and exercise those rights, girlfriend.

In the context of a physically intimate relationship, the following inalienable rights of women shall be honored in all close encounters:


 
I. A woman should always feel comfortable requesting (or denying) sexual contact, intercourse, novel sexual positions, specific modes of touching, handling, address and any other manner of treatment she desires. In all cases, her wishes should be considered equal to those of her partner and likewise respected.






II. All desired forms of pleasure being necessary to a woman’s sexual satisfaction, a woman’s right to receive oral sex shall not be infringed, especially by, but not limited to, a guy who has no problem receiving a blow job but unfairly decides it’s okay to deny reciprocation.
III. The “missionary position” shall never be assumed to be the only viable configuration for sexual congress; a woman’s right to be on the top, bottom, side or at any oblique angle that physically be achieved should and shall be explored.

IV. A woman shall be forced to never endure boring, porn-inspired jackhammer sex unless she truly enjoys it (and agrees to ask herself, “Am I truly enjoying this?” to be certain.) She is always entitled to put an abrupt stop to any sexual contact that makes her feel like a blow-up doll.