So all this period talk got me thinking, and I’ve decided that I wish women didn’t feel so awkward when it comes to mentioning our periods (without the anonymous mask of the internet!). In private, it’s a common experience, a bond that provides a universal culture for women. But in public, menstruation is used both to embarrass us and to contain us in our anatomy.
It’s rarely acceptable to mention it outside of your close circle of friends. We talk about it in these little groups, which definitely bonds us, but there’s still that hesitation in many situations. For example, if I have to cancel a dinner date with friends because I feel crampy and bloated, I shouldn't have to lie with "I have a headache." This seems so silly.
There’s this near-censorship of the period topic in public conversation, which I think reflects a marginalization of women. Seriously, think about it for a second. What’s the grossest period memory you have? Mine is bleeding through my clothes in middle school. Oh my god, what a nightmare! And sex: I’ve heard people claim that it’s better, but, in my experience, guys are afraid of periods (often declaring “messiness” as an excuse). And I seriously still get a tiny bit uncomfortable when a guy’s ringing up my tampons at Target. Maybe if we weren’t so afraid to talk about it, we could better advise younger generations, and they wouldn’t have to go through these “rights of passage” like most of us.
How do we start to shift the general opinion about periods? Maybe through more education and acknowledgment of how compelling this bond really is. Rather than mask it with “I have a headache” and lament it from the start, young girls should be taught that menstruation is nothing to hide or feel ashamed of. What if we made some sort of exciting ritual or initiation that celebrated young girls’ entrance into womanhood? Didn’t the Native Americans do that?
Does everyone agree with me? Can we (should we?) change society’s attitude about this?
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| flygirl -- Los Angeles | |
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Wednesday Dec 6, 2006 9:07 PM I'm never comfortable talking about my period. There's a stigma. "She's being a bitch, it must be that time of the month." I'd rather people didn't know. Not sure why, just the way it is for me I guess... |
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| kittycat -- Los Angeles | |
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Sunday Dec 3, 2006 8:48 PM I say we're in a good place in regards to women and our periods. There are tons of references on tv/movies/books--discussions in classrooms and numbers of feminine products are promoting women (strong women) and having periods in a good way. Bravo society! |
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| blondedarlin | |
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Wednesday Nov 29, 2006 8:40 PM I hate having my period and I have no qualms with letting everyone no how much I hate it. Maybe there should be a sign or bracelet we wear when we're on it (like a Lance Armstrong bracelet) and then we can wear it proudly. Would be fun to pass someone else in the office or on the street and know instantly they were dealing with it too. Sure would make finding someone to ask for a tampon easier! LOL. |
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| StaceySt. -- Santa Barbara | |
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Sunday Nov 26, 2006 6:44 PM I think we all should keep it real with everyone as much as we can. Then again, I'm not so sure how my dad would react to hearing about cramps, cravings, bloating and bleeding. HA! Maybe we keep it real with our generation and then hopefully the next generation can talk to everyone about it...even Dads. |
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| sminerva21 | |
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Wednesday Nov 22, 2006 1:13 PM I know that one reason I like to be hush-hush about my period outside my close circle of friends is because I get extremely painful cramps that sometimes lead to full-blown sickness, and some people often judge me and think that I'm weak because "all periods are the same and not that bad." It still surprises me when WOMEN say this to me. While it's gotten better over time, I still feel like I should just keep my mouth shut when it comes to my period for fear that other women are thinking, "No period is THAT bad, she just needs to suck up and deal." I also remember that day in health class in 5th grade when the boys and girls would go in separatly to watch the puberty movie. I never understood this. Boys should learn at an early age that there's nothing wrong with periods, and girls should learn at an early age that it's nothing to hide from. That's just my two cents! |
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| Amber -- San Diego | |
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| page7 -- Boston | |
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Tuesday Nov 21, 2006 9:16 PM My mom gave me the stupidist book to read when I was in 5th grade. Something that explained periods, sex, and all the differences between "boys & girls." When I actually got my first period she was out of town and I didn't even tell her because it was so weird....all I got from her was a book! As for being more public. Yes, of course we should be able to talk about it. But why oh why is it such a taboo? I don't know, but I'm with you, I'd rather tell people (male people) I have a headache than "I'm on my period." Honestly perhaps one reason is I feel that if I am acting "bitchy" and they know it's that time of the month they'll use it against me. What's that about?!?! |
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| leisle -- Torrance | |
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Tuesday Nov 21, 2006 5:33 PM I would like to think that I am completely comfortable talking about my period. My friends and I will share funny stories and be really open about our period woes. Then one day when I was helping my eleven-year-old niece with her social studies homework, she started quizzing me on periods. I felt so awkward, and after a while, I just told her to talk to her mom. I think that there needs to be a solution to this awkwardness between generations. More communication and honesty between older and younger women I think would definitely help. If we open up the communication on periods and not make it some big uncomfortable topic for young girls, then maybe it won’t be so awkward later on when they grow up and have to tell their daughters. And trying to make boys comfortable with periods is a whole nother battle… |
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