Be very careful when using dating sites. The wisest move is to create another 'user' on your computer..(just as at the office where you have diff. people use the same machine)...with her own email and messaging
account...not yours.
Be vague when you communicate...don't give your real name, city, even your living conditions.
The reason I'm being so preachy is that as part of an investigation I joined various sites and had various experiences.
I avoided all the Nigerians who pretended to be wealthy Americans, and
the more obviously sick. I usually collided with the 'pathetic loser wants same' type. This is the majority.
Even tho' I was careful I made certain mistakes; revealing where I lived, that I lived alone. Okay, living on the beach in Jamaica is vague enough since Jamaica is an island and there are quite a few miles of beach and it being Jamaica some guy from Quaint Village, England or Gunkville, USA is not about to arrive on my doorstep...however, this prompts those who wanted an all expense vacation in my house to send photos of mansions that they claimed to live in and wanting to visit me.
I was also getting buckets of email and demands for instant messaging.
This is why I am so adamant that you create another account on your
computer so that the intense stalker type doesn't clog your inbox or
tie up your messenger.
I had one that would become insane when I didn't immediately answer his responses, one who emailed me every ten seconds, and because I was casting myself in the role of a woman who was 'honestly' on a dating site looking for a soul mate I had to develop strategies for dealing with these chaps.
This is the 'escape' strategy which seems to work the best.
1) kill the instant messenger
As this is another account, not yours and you only log in to that user when you desire. Using your own I.M. protocol would mean that by shutting it off you lose contact with people you need to be in contact with.
....
You should have not gone to I.M. so early
That was the lesson I learned here.
2) Answer Email but slowly
Getting ten emails within ten minutes is not unusual when one is dealing with a pathetic loser. This guy is so intense it seems you might be the first female he's spoken with for the past nine years. Instead of responding to the email, post something boring which answers none of his questions or reacts to anything he's written.
You don't want an insane stalker looking for you or annoying you. What you want is for him to lose interest. This will happen if you
don't respond to his hysteria and seem sort of brain dead.
account...not yours.
Be vague when you communicate...don't give your real name, city, even your living conditions.
The reason I'm being so preachy is that as part of an investigation I joined various sites and had various experiences.
I avoided all the Nigerians who pretended to be wealthy Americans, and
the more obviously sick. I usually collided with the 'pathetic loser wants same' type. This is the majority.
Even tho' I was careful I made certain mistakes; revealing where I lived, that I lived alone. Okay, living on the beach in Jamaica is vague enough since Jamaica is an island and there are quite a few miles of beach and it being Jamaica some guy from Quaint Village, England or Gunkville, USA is not about to arrive on my doorstep...however, this prompts those who wanted an all expense vacation in my house to send photos of mansions that they claimed to live in and wanting to visit me.
I was also getting buckets of email and demands for instant messaging.
This is why I am so adamant that you create another account on your
computer so that the intense stalker type doesn't clog your inbox or
tie up your messenger.
I had one that would become insane when I didn't immediately answer his responses, one who emailed me every ten seconds, and because I was casting myself in the role of a woman who was 'honestly' on a dating site looking for a soul mate I had to develop strategies for dealing with these chaps.
This is the 'escape' strategy which seems to work the best.
1) kill the instant messenger
As this is another account, not yours and you only log in to that user when you desire. Using your own I.M. protocol would mean that by shutting it off you lose contact with people you need to be in contact with.
....
You should have not gone to I.M. so early
That was the lesson I learned here.
2) Answer Email but slowly
Getting ten emails within ten minutes is not unusual when one is dealing with a pathetic loser. This guy is so intense it seems you might be the first female he's spoken with for the past nine years. Instead of responding to the email, post something boring which answers none of his questions or reacts to anything he's written.
You don't want an insane stalker looking for you or annoying you. What you want is for him to lose interest. This will happen if you
don't respond to his hysteria and seem sort of brain dead.
- Savvy Miss Feeds