Random guy in bar: "Wow, you have the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen! Are those your real eyes?"

Me (A little tipsy from a couple of beers and not in the mood to be hit on by yet another guy wearing a wedding ring): "No, actually these are my faux eyeballs, I keep the real ones in a safe deposit box so they don't get stolen."

Random guy walks away, looking a bit perplexed.

End scene.

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