"You really look lovely tonight, Kat."

"And you, Nate," I teased, "you really do need to get that Lasik surgery you've been hinting at."

We were at Fish, sharing a platter of fish and chips — well, playfully fighting over the chips — and digging on each other's slightly irreverent humor. Actually, it was more than just humor we were digging on.

Nate was smart, involved in all sorts of nonprofits, a double Dipsea runner and a century rider. The man had a bod. He'd been divorced a long time, but had several long-time relationships. Those were good signs.

Plus he had the most amazing lips. That was a good sign, too.

We'd met online and I was really starting to like him. A lot. So I was nervous.

Of course, it was our third date, and any woman who's dated a bit knows what that means.

I was wondering if he was thinking what I was thinking.

It was time to have "the talk."

"So, tell me, Nate ..." I started to say as I reached into the basket for another chip, dipping my pinky finger into the catsup in the process.

"You mean, tell you about how much I'd like to kiss you right now?" he said seductively as he reached across the table, gently took my hand, brought it up to his mouth and licked the catsup off my finger.

"Um, well, no," I said, wondering how an outdoor patio could suddenly get so hot. "I mean, yes but, um, about your marriage."

"Mmm, what about it?" he said dreamily, as he let his warm, wet, lips graze the inside of my palm.

"So, what happened?" I asked, wishing I'd worn something a little less heavy than a tank top.

"My ex? That woman's crazy."

And so for the next half hour or so, he told me stories of the woman he'd been married to for five years who certainly did sound, if not crazy, then at least a little odd.

"Well, what about Carol?" I asked of his last girlfriend, the one he'd lived with for three years.

"I broke it off. Now she was psycho."

I stopped focusing on his lips and really started to listen to what he was saying. And what I was hearing was that he sure seems to date women who have lots of emotional issues.

Then I really started to get nervous; he was on a date — with me!

But the odd thing is, he's not the only man who seems to sniff out women of questionable mental health. In my years of dating in and around Marin, most of the men I've met have been involved with psychos, lunatics, nuts, crazies, wackos, weirdos, kooks and screwballs.

To read more, please go to Kat Wilder's My So-Called Midlife at blogs.marinij.com/katwilder/2008/05/crazy_ex.html