One of my favorite songs, the Gin Blossoms' "Hey Jealousy," came on the radio the other day as I was driving around doing mommy errands.

As I sang along, it got me thinking of a conversation Sara and I had the other day.

She asked my why I still flirt even though I'm dating Sean. She wondered if I did it to "make him jealous."

That's really juvenile behavior. I flirt, he flirts because even though we're dating, we're not dead! We still look at others, we engage others — and we trust. I'm not interested in a relationship that puts artificial limits on the other. I know my own boundaries, and I trust he knows his. We'd have a much bigger problem if we didn't.

But it made me think of the jealousy I've experienced and that I've seen among my friends. I thought of what the big porn star and her new hubby told me over dinner when I asked them how they can make their marriage work — no jealousy, they said.

But, because I think way too much, I wondered: Can jealousy ever be a good thing in love?

Some people who know of such things say, yes.


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