The Sheik and I were discussing what we wanted in the future. Not as couple mind you, because we had only been dating for a couple of months, but just in general or so I thought. (By the way, he wasn’t really a Sheik, he’d just grown up in Saudi Arabia and I used to tease him and call him The Sheik.)

 

“So where do you see yourself in five years?” He asked.

 

‘Well, I ‘d love to be doing a different job, not that I hate my job now, but I think I’d like to maybe write for a living. Maybe as a freelance writer or something. You?”

 

“I’d like to be a contractor with the company where I work instead of being an employee. I’d like to make my own hours so I can spend more time at home. What else would you like to accomplish?”

 

“I’d like to be married and perhaps working on a family. If I were working part time writing or something, then I could concentrate on my family and be home with my kids more.”

 

“A family?”

 

“Yeah, at some point; it doesn’t have to be exactly five years, but I’d like to have kids some day.” As I finished my sentence, it felt like the air had gotten sucked out of the room. He got really quiet. I was perplexed.

 

“Uh, let’s go, we have dinner reservations,” he said quickly ending the conversation. I was wondering what I had said wrong.

 

The Sheik and I had met through an online dating service and in his profile he mentioned wanting to have kids (2 to be exact) so why would my revelation of wanting to have a family freak him out? I didn’t get it. It wasn’t like I said I wanted to have kids with HIM. I just meant in general. The dinner conversation was almost non-existent. He wouldn’t even look me in the eye.

 

Later, when he dropped me at my car, he didn’t even kiss me goodbye. He mumbled a short “bye” and barely stopped the car long enough for me to get out. For a minute, I thought he was just going to slow down, open the door and push me out. It would be the last time I heard from him.

 

When I recounted the story to a friend a couple of months later, I was still trying to figure out what I had done wrong. All I had done was answer honestly.

 

“Maybe you should have been vaguer,” my friend said. “He may have gotten freaked out because you mentioned having a family.”

 

“I didn’t say I wanted to have HIS kids! But maybe you’re right. However, I am a firm believer if you don’t want the answer, don’t ask the damn question!’

 

“Well, if he was the right guy, he wouldn’t have freaked out he would have just accepted your answer and not read too much into it, so that just means he wasn’t the One.” My friend mused.

 

“Yeah, I guess the lesson here is that sometimes vague is better especially early on in the dating game.” Perhaps too much honesty is not always the best policy.


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